The Singapore Hair Loss Support Group has issued a Code Red warning to balding Singaporeans living in the island about the gusts of strong winds averaging 30km to 40 km per hour which have been hitting Singapore almost every second for the past one week.
Chairman of the group, Dr Hairy Kok, in a statement issued to the The Hairy Times said, "The winds that have been blowing non-stop in Singapore are unprecedented in scale and magnitude! Never have the hair of balding Singaporeans been threatened so seriously!"
Noting in agreement, Mr Harry, a member of the group, said, "I have been suffering from thin hair already. These days, I just dashed out of home towards the bus stop, to minimise the duration my hair is being exposed to the strong gust. Haiz, what an unfortunate thing these strong winds have come! New Year is coming so soon! I need my hair to face my relatives, please don't blow them away!"
Even Singaporeans with a thick coat of hair is not spared. Mr Hairr said, "It just messes up my hair, I think girls who have been spending time doing their hair before coming out of their house is simply wasting their times."
Dr Hairy Kok has formed a sterling committee made up of researchers, businessmen, scientists, hair stylists, babrbers to look into the weather anomaly that has hit Singapore. Collectively, the committee has proposed a slew of suggestions for Singaporeans, especially the balding ones to take note when facing the onslaught of the merciless gust of wind.
Top of the list of suggestions: Do not go out in the open, unless you need to, example going to work.
Second pointer: Wear a cap or hat
Third pointer: Go and shave bald, so that you will be able to enjoy super strong winds without any worry!
It was reported in The Hairy Times that despites the economic downfall, sales of caps, hats have been brisk. Many Singaporeans have been reported buying caps and hats these days to protect their hair while out in the open.
Meanwhile, sweepers in Singapore are bracing themselves everyday for their increased workload, contending with the tonnes of fallen hair that have been blown off from Singaporeans everyday for the past one week.
Said Ms April Foo: "This is madness! I have never seen anything like this. I have swept 5 kg of fallen human hair within half an hour. Hair is not like other debris, hair is so fine and light, you need a certain degree of skills to manipulate the brooms!"
In the meantime, Dr Hairy Kok is contemplating the help of science to overturn the forces of nature in the form of a giant vacuum cleaner!
